Putting the Hi Back in Hi-5

I wrote this today. It's for Jenny, because I'd totally love to see her perform it in one of her comedy acts and bask in her reflected glory. It's a simple moral tale about, (amongst other things) prozac and monkeys.

A Happy Song
(Or, Cons and Prozacs)

O, once upon a time,
I was crappy, crappy, crappy,
And then I took some Prozac,
And was happy, happy, happy, happy, happy,
Yes, then I took some Prozac,
And was happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy as could be.



So then I took one more,
I was happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy,
And I passed out on the floor,
I was happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy as could be.

So then I took two more,
And I could see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see,
Things I couldn't see before,
Like maggots, maggots, maggots, maggots, maggots, maggots, maggots, maggots,

So then I took two more;
And there appeared before me,
With a fucking scary roar,
A very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very
Very angry purple dinosaur;
And "YOU!" he hollered angrily, "IF YOU DON'T STOP TAKING PILLS,
THEN I'LL EAT UP ALL YOUR GRANDCHILDREN,
AND SEND YOU LARGE GAS BILLS!"



So then I took five more,
And was happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy as could be,
And went into a magic place
Beside a magic sea,
Where screaming yellow monkeys
Scratched their way into my face,
And I was happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy as could be.



And then a yellow monkey climbed
Into my hollow head,
And I was happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy as could be.
Then I started seeing red,
And I began to scream scream scream scream scream scream scream scream scream scream scream scream scream scream scream scream scream scream
At the monkey in my head,
But it was all a dream,
And I woke up with the monkey in my bed, in my bed, in my bed, in my bed,
And was happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy as could be;

So then I took ten more,
And the monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys monkeys
Began to fall on me,
Screeching, "Listen up, you narcs and junkies,
You alcoholic thugs,
Don't do it ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,
Don't do drugs, don't do drugs,
Unless you see your doctor,
And he says that it's okay,
Then pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop,
Pop those pills away, pop away!"

Yes, I was happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy,
To receive this nice advice,
I was happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy,
And completely paralysed.