First up, West Coast Eagles:
We're the Eagles,Wow!
the West Coast EaglesWow again!
And we're here to show you whyThis line strikes an odd note of existential angst; normally, an eagle wouldn't be worrying about proving 'why' it was an eagle.
We're the big birds,Technically speaking, there are bigger birds.
kings of the big gameThis is a bit of a non sequitur; just because they are 'big birds' doesn't mean that they're suited to the 'big game'.
We're the Eagles, we're flying highA bit of needless repetition here, but I think we get the message.
Then came the Swans' club song:
Cheer, Cheer the Red and the WhiteSure!
Honour the name by day and by nightThat's a little much, don't you think?
Lift that noble banner highYou might want to keep the banner down if there's a storm, it might attract lightning.
Shake down the thunder from the sky
Whether the odds be great or smallThis is a bit of an exaggeration, but we'll see if they pull it off.
Swans will go in and win over all
While her loyal sons are marchingWhere's the rhyme? But I think we get the message.
Onwards to victory
Well, have a good game, people, and I hope your enjoyment is very enjoyable! And most of all, GOOD LUCK to both of the teams - I'm sure one of them is going to need it!
UPDATE! - I must say, I'm really loving all these Grand Final ads! Why, just half an hour ago they had an epic, five-minute ad for dog food! What's YOUR favourite Grand Final ad? Why?
ANOTHER UPDATE! - One presenter is tipping the Swans to win, another presenter is tipping the West Coast Eagles to win, and another is tipping a draw! I pick ... none of the above. Is there another option, Eddie?
UPDATE ON ANOTHER UPDATE! - And isn't it a top performance being put in by the grass at the oval? Excellent work, grass!
I'm going to get a drink!
UPDATEY UPDATE! - G-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-A-LLLLLL!!!!
(Please apply this update to whichever side is appropriate at the current time, whatever that is)
POLL UPDATE! - But enough about what I think. How do YOU rate the performance of the grass in this Grand Final?
YET ANOTHER UPDATE! - With the Eagles leading the Swans by 25 points at half-time, I'm tipping this game as a clear win for the Swans.
UPDATE OF IMPORTANCE! - We're now moving into the fourth third of the first half of the third quarter, which is a very important part of the game.
QUESTION! - Who's got the ball? I was just watching a video of cats acting in a Shakespeare play on YouTube.
ROUND UP! - And with the conclusion of the game, victory has gone to the winners, who achieved triumph by the decisive margin of one point (too be fair though, it was a BIG point!) But in football, there are no losers, only teams who win more decisively than the opposition. Or something.
Excellent performances all around, but I have to say that the best individual player of the game was The West Coast Eagles!
Whew! Wasn't that fun?