tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post7174336620765191356..comments2024-03-07T11:39:09.758+11:00Comments on Will Type For Food: ThingsTimThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10333303180015967125noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-60731207906751863202007-05-18T09:50:00.000+10:002007-05-18T09:50:00.000+10:00I'm sorry to hear that, as mopping the floor, part...I'm sorry to hear that, as mopping the floor, particularly for gentlemen, is an ingenious way of showing off one's physique to full advantage without appearing to do so. I swear by it.<BR/><BR/>My sister shocked me by actually requesting that I cook for her. I am the worst cook that ever there was, as I may have mentioned before.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-68507418082018818702007-05-17T23:18:00.000+10:002007-05-17T23:18:00.000+10:00Oh, it's just tickety-boo!I would gladly cook for ...Oh, it's just tickety-boo!<BR/><BR/>I would gladly cook for someone, but could barely be persuaded by electric cattle prods to mop the floor for someone.TimThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10333303180015967125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-13635589431438839542007-05-17T22:59:00.000+10:002007-05-17T22:59:00.000+10:00Barbara does anticipate the difficulty you so astu...Barbara does anticipate the difficulty you so astutely detect somewhat. She suggests preparing meals (particularly breakfasts)in advance and employing electric warming trays and other portable devices. The difficulty is probably not solved satisfactorily though. Life is indeed a vale of tears or, as I am fond of saying to my cat when I stop her from doing something she really wants to do, life is very long and very hard.<BR/><BR/>Personally, I am never uncomfortable getting back into bed, but I suppose, being Lady Muck, I would be more likely to opt for option b. Of course one would have to live in a home specially designed so that there would be a clear view of the kitchen from the bedroom, since the only thing anywhere near as attractive as someone cooking for you is someone mopping the floor for you. Many bright eyes are indeed enlivened by the exercise!<BR/><BR/>Yes, thinking about it more closely, I think option b doubles the pleasure!<BR/><BR/>Will look out for the Hodgkinson-sounds like just the thing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-87740387643093849222007-05-17T22:38:00.000+10:002007-05-17T22:38:00.000+10:00I foresee a paradox inherent in this cookbook: whi...I foresee a paradox inherent in this cookbook: while it celebrates the pleasures of eating in bed, in order to be able to <I>eat</I> in bed, you must first acquire the meal to eat in bed; and in order to do that, you must either, <BR/><BR/>a) Get out of bed, which defeats the purpose; <BR/><BR/>b) Grant the cookbook to a partner, who has to get out of bed to bring you the meal in bed; and the last thing they'll be wanting to read about are the <I>pleasures</I> of eating in bed, when all they encounter through is the pain of <I>preparing</I> the meal for eating in bed. <BR/><BR/>Indeed, for anything but the simplest of meals - cereal or chocolate - a not inconsiderable amount of effort would have to be gone through. I am fond of croissants; but in order to prepare these for eating in bed, I would have to a) crisp them in the oven; b) prepare coffee (an essential luxury) c) fetch butter, jam, plates, knives d) Carry all these, one by one, back to the bed. By which time I would be inured to the out-of-bed environment, and may even feel uncomfortable getting back in bed! But if one is going to enjoy the pleasure of eating in bed, then one needs a suitable object for that pleasure: breakfast cereal? Just not good enough! I fear in many cases eating in bed may not be possible. Life is truly a vale of tears! <BR/><BR/>And yet, and yet - one thinks of those famous stayers in bed: Proust, for instance. Montaigne. One would presume they had found some way to combine the joys of staying in bed with the joys of eating. Could it be true? O, how the heart yearns for a world in which one could eat in bed every day! <BR/><BR/>On a related note, allow me to recommend the book 'How To Be Idle' by Tom Hodgkinson - not for the arguments, which are dud (the contradictions start right in the title), but for the wonderfully luxurious writing style, setting out in full the pleasures of the idle lifestyle. I'm almost certain eating in bed is included; <I>sleeping</I> in until very late hours in the morning certainly is.TimThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10333303180015967125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-83936075739294724782007-05-17T22:16:00.000+10:002007-05-17T22:16:00.000+10:00Oh no! Hurrah for weird anecdotes!Oh no! Hurrah for weird anecdotes!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-25815673536292006442007-05-17T22:13:00.000+10:002007-05-17T22:13:00.000+10:00Bugger it, I'll give you the first paragraph of th...Bugger it, I'll give you the first paragraph of the introduction:<BR/><BR/>"There is a secret, wholesome indulgence to eating in bed which perhaps explains why it has not received the uniformly good press of other things which go on in bed and which are certainly no less an indulgence. The trouble is, nobody ever thought of proving one's manhood or femininity by eating, and although it is well-nigh impossible to prove them without eating at some point, as a bedtime activity eating is generally done alone and thus the word doesn't get around. It is not the intention of this book to set up competition between the two activities; there is time enough to accomplish every bedtime delight, including sleep; the purpose here is to enhance one's time in bed, however spent, by opening up a whole new way of life".<BR/><BR/>She follows this with a chapter on "Postures and Procedures". I think I'm in love! The names are fantastic, aren't they? She also has "Baron of Beef in Bed" and "Watermelon Hollandaise".<BR/><BR/>I have not yet discovered reading or eating in the bath, but I am eager to try both, possibly at the same time. Some friends brought me back the most wonderful book rest from Hong Kong last week (others know HK for the electronics, I know it for the book rests), so perhaps I can see how that does in the bath. Barbara's section on eating in the bath is an acknowledgment of the sad fact that not everything is suitable for eating in bed. She concentrates predominantly on the messier fruits. It is worth quoting her at length on this point (you can tell me if I weary your patience at any point!):<BR/><BR/>"Very little, if any, expenditure is needed on equipment to make your comfortable, familiar bathtub as gracious and attractive a dining spot as you would want. There are many ready-made bathtub trays available, intended perhaps for manicures, eyebrow plucking, murder mysteries, Martinis, and such like, but which are quite satisfactory to hold your dinner. The soap dish, once it is shipshape and Bristol fashion, will hold a wealth of buns, salt and pepper shakers, the mustard pot. Bagels and doughnuts fit nicely over most faucets..."<BR/><BR/>The book was published in 1962. I dearly hope that Barbara is still with us. I mostly eat fruit and cheese in bed and sometimes chocolate, but Barbara has certainly encourged me to experiment with complete meals.<BR/><BR/>My sister once hit her head on the soap dish whilst sliding from end to end of the bathtub and had to get stitches in her forehead, which is not as happy a story as your one about your brother, but it's my equivalent, such as it is.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-64650904232346902262007-05-17T21:48:00.000+10:002007-05-17T21:48:00.000+10:00Or perhaps that was too weird an anecdote, even by...Or perhaps that was too weird an anecdote, even by my standards...TimThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10333303180015967125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-4547138048364618972007-05-17T19:51:00.000+10:002007-05-17T19:51:00.000+10:00That's wonderful, just wonderful, she clearly is a...That's wonderful, just wonderful, she clearly is a Queen of the bad joke, and I bow down to her greatness! <BR/><BR/>Of course, eating a leg of lamb in bed or in the bath seems a little extravagant, but hoorah for extravagance! I'm a big fan of reading in the bath, and my older brother once took this to ridiculous lengths, taking in a working-board into the bathroom and propping up his book on that. (He gave us a lecture about it and told us how it was a new invention of his; even dubbed it 'The Bathman's Friend'.)TimThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10333303180015967125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-2540967538721035832007-05-17T19:20:00.000+10:002007-05-17T19:20:00.000+10:00Barbara will be so pleased to hear that, but first...Barbara will be so pleased to hear that, but first one must decide whether one prefers one's toffs with a hard or a soft centre. Unfortunately the otherwise impeccably prolix Barbara can offer no guidance on this score, although she does brandish "pate on the back", a "shoulder of lamb to cry on", "curried favour" and "leg of veal with a Swedish massage", before concluding in "instant oblivion" and "ether". I suppose one makes what one will from such suggestions.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-17056065215868353352007-05-17T17:37:00.000+10:002007-05-17T17:37:00.000+10:00Capital review, just capital. I'm a fan of toffees...Capital review, just capital. I'm a fan of toffees, so I think I can extend that interest to toffs as well.TimThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10333303180015967125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-66594502366687552752007-05-17T17:33:00.000+10:002007-05-17T17:33:00.000+10:00Well, I'm sure they cater for that sort of thing t...Well, I'm sure they cater for that sort of thing too, somewhere... If there's a <A HREF="http://whitewolf.newcastle.edu.au/words/authors/P/PoeEdgarAllan/prose/raven_5/furniture.html" REL="nofollow">Philosophy of Furniture</A>, I'm sure there's a gastronomy of it as well. The author of <I>The Eating-In-Bed Cookbook</I>*, one Barbara Ninde Byfield is pictured "formally posed in her test bed" and in full early-1960s toff splendour on the back cover. It is certainly difficult to decide who or which is the more delectable- Barbara, her recipes or the bed.<BR/><BR/>*I have momentarily appropriated it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-72638466093033526272007-05-17T17:12:00.000+10:002007-05-17T17:12:00.000+10:00Eating In Bed is good, but I'd be interesting in E...Eating In Bed is good, but I'd be interesting in Eating <I>THE</I> Bed. Delicious!TimThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10333303180015967125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-38596445952510552882007-05-17T17:10:00.000+10:002007-05-17T17:10:00.000+10:00For me a bureau with port ice cream (I got a new b...For me a bureau with port ice cream (I got a new bottle of port yesterday and I had port ice cream too, so I keep mentioning port today). A dressing table would probably be the best option for very special occasions.<BR/><BR/>Relatedly, my sister found this charming book called "The Eating-In-Bed Cookbook" at a book sale. My favourite sections are "Just because you love yourself" and "Eating in the bathtub".Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-5433902688331775512007-05-17T16:51:00.000+10:002007-05-17T16:51:00.000+10:00Well, I don't know about you, but I could drink th...Well, I don't know about you, but I could drink three cabinets at the moment, not to mention a clothes cupboard and two kitchen drawers.TimThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10333303180015967125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-48086158853709902922007-05-17T16:28:00.000+10:002007-05-17T16:28:00.000+10:00It is indeed a vital issue. I don't think I've ha...It is indeed a vital issue. I don't think I've had many milkshakes with malt and I think I'd have to say I'd be generally against it, as it would seem to me that it was taking up space more properly occupied by further dollops of ice cream. Of course, I have now checked the wikipedia article on <A HREF="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milkshake" REL="nofollow">milkshakes</A> and am quite taken with the suggestion that they are known as cabinets in Rhode Island and that a "coffee doorknob" flavour of "cabinet" is available. I am further intrigued by the "milkshake (drug reference)" entry in the milkshake disambiguation and mourn the missing link to which it refers.<BR/><BR/>I'm a purist with regards to my milkshakes, so I would frown upon the toppings pictured in wikipedia's photo (although they are almost restrained in comparison with <A HREF="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Kelis_milkshake.jpg" REL="nofollow">other selections</A>).<BR/><BR/>Thank you for the link and for your efforts finding it. The world has indeed gone mad.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-58718604008754933982007-05-17T15:29:00.000+10:002007-05-17T15:29:00.000+10:00Couldn't find the article on The Age website, but ...Couldn't find the article on The Age website, but here's a link to the story: <BR/><BR/>http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3262259TimThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10333303180015967125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-54850801851202890992007-05-17T15:26:00.000+10:002007-05-17T15:26:00.000+10:00What's your position on malt? Where do you stand o...What's your position on malt? Where do you stand on this vital milkshake issue: should the shake be had with or without?TimThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10333303180015967125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-19480396193009881472007-05-17T15:24:00.000+10:002007-05-17T15:24:00.000+10:00Gosh, I just realised that I have never seen a Tem...Gosh, I just realised that I have never seen a Tempe milkshake being made, because I always wait in the car like Lady Muck and make others collect it for me. Perhaps I'm addicted to some vile chemical approximation of ice cream? I must investigate this further.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-36634505129232133902007-05-17T15:21:00.000+10:002007-05-17T15:21:00.000+10:00There are places where the milkshakes are made wit...There are places where the milkshakes are made <I>without</I> using ice cream? (She represses a small tremor). I'd hadn't got around to a formula yet, but I'm quite charmed by yours. I find that I will be quite fixated upon the milkshakes at one establishment for a time and then I will move on to another. The milkshake palate has its subtle shifts, as I'm sure you'll understand. At the moment (I can tell you're a true milkshake connoisseur and will appreciate this) I like the milkshakes at the roadside dinner near the Harp hotel in Tempe. They are best consumed whilst contemplating the rather polluted body of water nearby.<BR/>I don't like liquorish, because I had too much of it once when I was a child and was quite sick afterwards. And I'm strictly a tea drinker. I love the smell of coffee, but I'm afraid of the health consequences if I let myself get into it (I don't get into things by halves, you see).<BR/><BR/>Can I view this article in the online edition of The Age?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-54817424287283264192007-05-17T12:11:00.000+10:002007-05-17T12:11:00.000+10:00I rate milkshakes! Also donuts, liquorish, coffee,...I rate milkshakes! Also donuts, liquorish, coffee, (etc, etc, etc). I maintain that the quality of a cafe can be judged on the quality (or lack thereof) of its milkshakes. Thus: <BR/><BR/>q = cm, <BR/><BR/>where q = quality of cafe<BR/><BR/>m = quality of milkshake<BR/><BR/>c = An arbitrary mathematical constant. <BR/><BR/>Although obviously, there are various factors that go into 'm', such as amount of bubbles, whether there's any syrup at the bottom, whether the milkshake comes from icecream or not, etc, etc. <BR/><BR/>If you can, get a hold of 'The Age' for today at a big library. They have a whacky American story (much the same as some commercial TV networks have the occasional whacky animal story) about a baby from Illinois called Bubba(!) who happens to have a gun-owners licence. <BR/><BR/>As soon as I read that article, the comedy-meter started ticking over in my head and I started thinking of a scene at a local Illinois Prep-School and Gun Owners Club...TimThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10333303180015967125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-19014178504771908872007-05-17T10:35:00.000+10:002007-05-17T10:35:00.000+10:00Obviously you are capable of the sort of bitchines...Obviously you are capable of the sort of bitchiness I can only dream about, although I am very fond of ranking things, usually milkshakes.<BR/><BR/>The most beautiful baby name moment I have yet had was a child named "Jaxon" with a middle name I can't remember which made it sound like a company. He was photographed wearing a T-shirt which read "I love boobies" and his parents (who were in marketing and advertising) were convinced that he was a baby genius and was reading their magazines rather than simply throwing them about.<BR/><BR/>Reading that small item in the paper gave me almost as much pleasure as the marinated feta I have in the fridge.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-45172766452972909202007-05-17T10:23:00.000+10:002007-05-17T10:23:00.000+10:00I had to google 'prosthesis' to find out what it m...I had to google 'prosthesis' to find out what it meant. It sounded like somebody who was enthusiastic about doing PHD style essays. <BR/><BR/>Karen, you should rank the names and score them according to pre-set rules: 'Y' substituted for 'I', or 'Sch' substituted for 'Ch' (Jyll, Scharpelle)? - 2 points! Posh-sounding names like 'Algernon' or 'Kentigern'? 10 points! Inclusion of redundant letters? 1 point! (Scharpelle)<BR/><BR/>And so on...TimThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10333303180015967125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-66772901574049585302007-05-17T09:58:00.000+10:002007-05-17T09:58:00.000+10:00One of my favourite past times, when I have too mu...One of my favourite past times, when I have too much time on my hands or not enough time and I'm intent on frittering away what little I have (I won't hazard a guess as to which is your case), is to read the baby announcements in the newspaper. I do so enjoy the schadenfreude one can obtain from parental cruelty- but perhaps it's just the jealousy of the dully named!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7529903.post-1698950107128480492007-05-17T08:15:00.000+10:002007-05-17T08:15:00.000+10:00Flannery O'Connor has a character in her short sto...Flannery O'Connor has a character in her short story, "Good Country People", called Manly Pointer. He's an itinerant Bible salesperson, and, as it happens, a prosthesis fetishist.Alexis, Baron von Harlothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04675225579658733004noreply@blogger.com