Wednesday, September 28, 2005

The City of Lost Vowels

Got a postcard from mum today. She's busy doing a tour of obscure Eastern European countries. You'd think she'd be able to choose a country where they spoke a language of Indo-European (or at least Ural-Altaic) derivation, but no. She just has to be different.
The city she's writing from is called 'Ljubljana'. Far too many consonants in that name for my liking. Never trust a city that has fewer vowels than it has consonants; you just don't know who you'll run into.

Of course, last time Mum went overseas, she was going to Russia. I asked her, very specifically, to get photographs of Soviet triumphalist architecture. I have quite a thing for gigantic cubes made out of crumbling concrete. She ignored me. All I ever got was pictures of the Hermitage, St Peters, and the Hotel Kosmos. Then again, she did get a picture of some Russian bums begging in the park, so her trip wasn't entirely wasted.

She ends her postcard:

Have been trying to buy a brolley but am assured rain will disappear tomorrow.

While she's about it, she'd probably better get some vowels. Where she's going, they'll be in pretty short supply.

10 comments:

  1. c'moooooooonnnnn, Slavic languages are cool! And mad props to your mum for touring random and obscure Eastern European countries, it's great fun. I love the look on people's faces when I tell them I lived in Lithuania for a year, concealed surprise at first and then usually 10 minutes later politely asking me where exactly it is. I had a friend visit me when I was living there and we went up to Finland via the other Baltic states, when I said we would be stopping in Estonia he was surprised and revealed he thought it was a made up country from the movie Encino Man

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  2. You know, Mum told me she and Dad were going somewhere in Hungary, and now from this postcard I find she's somewhere in Slovenia. Bloody hell, parents, you just can't trust them. Next thing I know, they'll be hanging out with the Tocharians in China...

    I just looked it up on the net, and I found that Slovakian actually is an Indo-European language, which means that not only is my post a whinge, it's an inaccurate whinge. Oh well.

    If my parents had stuck in Hungary, none of this would have happened.

    I guess the snappy dressing thing is a way of making up for the lack of vowels (and hooded sweaters) in their country. Eastern Europeans are hot, gotta admit that.

    Incidentally, I plan before I die to travel to Europe. Also the moon, Jupiter, and some solar systems on the other side of the galaxy. No joke. If I can do it, I will.

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  3. Slovak might be Indo-European, but Slovenian is most definitely Slavic!

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  4. but you were probably testing all of us on that one, right?

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  5. R-i-i-i-i-i-i-g-h-t!

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  6. I have consulted the Mighty God Google, and am informed that both Slovenian and Slovakian belong to the Indo-European family of languages. Also, Hungarian is a Ural-Altaic language. Which makes my post even less accurate, if that's possible.

    Oh well. When all else fails, you can rely on the Basques to speak a totally bizarre, obscure language.

    Did you know, Maurice Ravel was part Basque?

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  7. Anonymous12:42 am

    Slovak I don't claim to know about, but it could well be Indo-European. As for Slovene I could almost swear it is a south Slavic language (I'm fucked on the details) but alot of Slavic languages were derived from the Indo-European so I need to check my details before I can be certain... thinking. too. hard (and you're probably right anyway!)

    As for Hungarian I could also have sworn that is a finno-ugric language (that is most likely another term for ural-altaic, dunno, you tell me! all I know is that when I hear Finnish and I hear Hungarian it sounds the same to me, as well as having friends who speak both)

    I did not know that Ravel was part Basque, but Bolero makes me tingle in my giblets so I guess pretending to care where he came from would be futile! Hmmmmmmm, Boleeeeeeeeeeero... and as for the violin and cello sonatas, let me sign off now thinking about them

    Yes, I am a nerd.

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  8. Anonymous5:21 am

    Slavic languages are Indo-European, I thought. Just in general. Also, Finnish and Hungarian are the only two languages in their group, whichever group that is. That is all I know, or think I know, on the subject. (that was vague indeed)

    Also, vodka.

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  9. I was under the impression that there were more than two Ural-Altaic languages (Estonian, anyone?) But what the hell do I know? I'm speaking about these language groups as if they're old friends.

    "Guten tag, sprechen sie Indo-European?"
    "Oui."
    "Jolly good show, then."

    And who knows? Maybe there was a time when the Indo-European language family was actually a family language?

    AT HOME WITH THE PROTO-INDO-EUROPEANS

    (Enter Mr Proto-Indo-European)
    MRPIE:
    Hi Honey, I'm home!

    MRSPIE:
    Ewgh, you smell of soma! Have you been drinking with the Proto-Finno-Urgics again?

    MRPIE:
    What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?

    MRSPIE:
    No, I had the crusades in mind, actually. But have you?

    MRPIE:
    Well, actually ... I was chatting with the Dravidians.

    MRSPIE:
    How many times do I have to tell you, I don't want you to go near that lot? They're almost as bad as the Minoans! And those ...

    MRPIE:
    ... Etruscans, yes, I know, you just can't trust the Etruscans.

    MRSPIE:
    Well ...

    MRPIE:
    Alright, I'll stay away. Honey, I was thinking ...

    MRSPIE:
    What?

    MRPIE:
    I was wondering if we could ask old Mr Basque around to visit? Just have a little dinner party?

    MRSPIE:
    But he lives on his own! NO ONE goes near him! He smells!

    MRPIE:
    I know, I know ... but there's just something about him that tells me he's a stayer. A REAL survivor.

    MRSPIE:
    He's a freak!

    MRPIE:
    Yes, well, that's true. ....

    (Cut to ad break)

    Fuck, what a ramble. Serves me right for posting at this time in the morning.

    Ooh, vodka, where?

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  10. Not to mention - this comments box has hit double figures YEAH!

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