Replacing Less Complicated Words With More Complicated Ones

Check out this big-ass German compound-noun I learnt in high school:

MEERWASSERHALLENWELLENSCHWIMMENBAD

It means something like hot water swim bath. But that's nothing compared to this big-ass German compound noun:

DONAUDAMPFSCHIFFAHRTSELEKTRIZITAETENHAUPTBETRIEBSWERKBAUUNTERBEAMTENGESELLSCHAFT

Apparently it means something like, "the club for subordinate officials of the head office management of the Danube steamboat electrical services."

Not that I'm a genius in the German-language or anything - I don't accidentally write posts in German while drunk, for instance - but I reckon those Germans have got it right. It's about time English got some more compound nouns of its own ...

Glass = Drinkthing

Knife = Cutthing

Once we get the basics of compound nouns, we can start working putting concepts together:

Fork = Eatthingthatgoeswithcutthing

Spoon = Othereatthingthatgoeswithcutthing

Sound beautiful, don't they? There are no end of everyday items that these nouns can be applied to. Transport items, for instance:

Car = Itemthatgoesvroom

Road = Longflatstonyobjectthatitemthatgoesvroomgoesvroomon

Or things of nature:

Tree = Woodthingwithleafystuff

Bird = Thingthatlivesinwoodthingwithleafystuff

Clothes:

Hat = Roundclothingitemforupperbodypart

Shops:

Market = Largeplaceforexchangingmoneywithgoodsand/orservices

And the body:

Head = Upperbodypart

Hand = Bodypartattheendofanotherbodypart

Once you get all this worked out, you can turn quite short, dull things like poems into impressively long and incomprehensible works of art. Thus:

I put my hat upon my head
And went into the Strand
And there I met another man
Whose hat was in his hand.

(Dr Johnson)

This becomes this:

I put my roundclothingitemforupperbodypart upon myupperbodypart
And went into the largeplaceforexchangingmoneywithgoodsand/orservices
And there I met another collectionofseveralbodyparts
Whose roundclothingitemforupperbodypart was in his bodypartattheendofanotherbodypart

Or this brief quatrain:

One day I saw a bird
Sitting in a tree
And that little tiny bird
Was looking back at me.

Becomes this epic of personal experience:

One day I saw a thingthatlivesinleafystuff
Up in a woodthingwithleafystuff
And that little tiny thingthatlivesinleafystuff
Was looking back at me.*

*(I'm still working on a compound noun for this one. It's a toughie.)
Wonderful, no?

No?

UPDATE - What's that - this post was boring? Oh, go and look up swear words in the dictionary then. Some people are never amused!