Poem Intended To Irritate Dumb Folksingers

This is a piece I wrote today, for no reason at all other than to take the piss out of dumb folksingers. It's for Rachy, who's recently had an encounter of the pneumatic kind. Take care of it, Rachel. Only, don't go all gooey and gushy on me, otherwise I might have to take it back. Gooeiness and gushiness aren't good for the lungs, you know.

Folksinger, folksinger,
Sing me a song,
And make it long, sweet and tender,
But especially long.
And the hairy-lipped lesbians
Will frolic and caper
Through the grass with their wine-casks
And Sunday Age papers.

Folksinger, folksinger,
Croon me a tune,
And it won't have to rhyme
Or be in tune.
Throw in 'heart ache' and 'heart break'
Some 'tears' and some 'fears'
And a 'long lonely highway'
That 'runs through the years'.

Folksinger, folksinger,
Tell me a story
About Union Power and stuff
And working-class glory;
Denounce that Evil John Howard
And his IR Legislation
Which (though you're not quite sure how)
Is ruining our nation.

Folksinger, folksinger,
Sing me a song,
And make it long, sweet and tender,
But especially long.
You will live for all time
On a 'BEST OF' CD
To be played on eternal repeat
On Your ABC ...