Consider Onan

Let us pause to consider Onan.

He is the individual, mentioned in Genesis, who is singled out for the crime of 'spilling his seed'. In other words, Onan spanked the monke; he slapped the salami; he pulled the one-eyed trouser snake.

In short, Onan was a wanker: Onan is, in fact, one of the first recorded historical instances of a wanker. What is so unfortunate, in Onan's case, is that this is his only recorded historical deed. Imagine what effect this must have on his descendants! Would the House of Onan even dare to mix with polite company? The masturbatory tendencies of their elder patriarch and founding father may be in some sense reprehensible, but is it fair that the 'Sins of the Fathers be visited upon the sons/daughters'? Surely not!

Horrible crimes have been committed through history. The Old Testament records with vigour and clarity many of these crimes, and the retribution and judgment exacted against the individuals who have committed these crimes. But surely it is an exaggeration to say that Onan ranks, in his crime, alongside the devotees of Baal, for instance, who were said to sacrifice children to their cruel and maleficient Lord!

It is time to wipe the slate clean. Ladies and gentlemen, on this morning, I ask you to consider Onan. And to forgive.