In a moment of madness or inspiration (or possibly neither), I offered this poem in a LP comments thread this morning:
A PERSEVERSE
"Good afternoon, Milady:
Now, I don't mean to sound terse
But could you be a darling
And empty out your purse?"
"Good afternoon, my robber;
It's a pistol-packing-purse!
So, I think I'll have to shoot you - BANG!
And load you in this hearse."
Thinking about it now, another poem in a similar vein comes to mind:
DYSPEPTIC EPIC
Or, COME ON IN, BABY, THE AORTA IS FINE!
Over the teeth
And under the uvula;
Through gastric juices
And assorted effluvia;
Into the intestine
And out of it, too;
Via the urethra
And a kidney or two:
Only to discover
Something truly appalling:
Gall bladders are fine,
But gallstones are galling.
I've even got another poem I'm working on. Here's how it goes so far:
GNOMEPOME
He's boring in bed
But he gives some REALLY FUCKING FANTASTIC
But, as Maxine McKew says to her partner, I think we'll leave it at that! Have a great weekend, people!
Great poems Tim ( eat your heart out Og)
ReplyDeleteBit puzzled about the last (incomplete) one though.
If he gives some REALLY FUCKING FANTASTIC ....
How can HE be boring in bed?
He's probably not the sort to take such things lying down!
ReplyDelete"he gives some really fucking fantastic .."
ReplyDeleteYes, all too easy to fill in the blanks (you're not being subtle today Tim) "... poetry readings in bed".
Well, you know, having experienced that, I can tell you now, "really fucking fantastic" and "poetry readings in bed" is an oxymoron.
I'd say that the person who tries to give "really fucking fantastic poetry readings in bed" - as you so astutely guessed - is not only an oxymoron, but a moron as well.
ReplyDeleteOoooh how I would love to comment on this one. But I shan't.
ReplyDelete