Ku Klux Klan Diversity Sub-committee
Sending Braille messages by telegram
Surgical decapitation
Elevators on top floors
Having a dwarf president to look up to
The Individualists' Society*
Peace negotiations between dog-kind and cat-hood
Sunglasses for evening wear
Turning up early for a Prevaricators Party
God, the atheist
Vegetarian cannibals
*But not The Individualist's Society.
On the subject of vegetarian cannibalism, I've long wondered whether a lettuce that's nourished by the decomposition of another lettuce is a cannibal. Any light you can shed on this vexing moral question would be greatly appreciated.
ReplyDeleteSadly, whenever the question of lettuce is raised with me, I get carried away, and shout 'LET US EAT LETTUCE!' to all and sundry, not to mention everyone else. It generally causes whoever I am with to hiss 'please don't say that anymore' at me in a peevish and ill-tempered manner.
ReplyDeleteI think T. S. Eliot said it best:
ReplyDeleteLettuce go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky,
Like a patient etherised upon a table.
Let's not forget St Pauls Lettuce to the Romans.
ReplyDeleteWritten after he got episstled down the pub.
ReplyDeleteBlowing all his celery away on drink?
ReplyDeleteI always wanted a spot doing mime on radio.
ReplyDelete"Sunglasses for evening wear"
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of that lovely line in Duncan Ball's "Selby's Secret"
"Suddenly, the sundial struck midnight ..."
It is one of the greatest lines in literature, methinks.
Playing Strip Poker with nudists?
ReplyDeleteI thinks nudists should be playing a game where htey should be putting clothes on!
Not sure if this is a self-defeating idea, but I just had an Italian woman speaking Italian in a nasal voice on the phone thinking I was Mario.
ReplyDeleteCarry on, everyone.