The time has come, as we all knew it would: people are asking the question, 'Who is Randall Stephens?' Well, he's this guy. But aside from that point, there is no denying that the question as to Randall Stephens' identity - the postulation as to the ontological reality behind that particular phenomenological signifiier, as it were - is a hard question. A hard question about a hard man. A hard question about a hard man - for hard readers.
FACT! - When Randall Stephens walks up to a bar, he asks for a cold pint of testosterone to drink.
FACT! - When Randall Stephens kisses girls, they instantly sprout moustaches due to his excessive machoness.
FACT!- You might be wondering what happened to all the Care Bears. Well, Randall Stephens eats one every morning for breakfast.
Feel free to add your own facts about Randall Stephens in comments.
Ah-hah! Randall Stephens eats a Care Bear every morning for breakfast? Now that explains the kitten-like gentility (!) underneath all the external displays of Randallness...
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how to feel about that. I suppose it all hangs on whether the Care Bears are free-range locavore Care Bears or not...
ReplyDeleteFACT! - There are now officially five states of matter: solid, liquid, gas, plasma, and Randall Stephens, the last state being the most terrifically energetic and hot and awesome state in the entire universe.
ReplyDeleteYes, or the care bears are some form of parasite...anyway,, my point being: the said Randall Stephens is surely a more complex state of matter than the one portrayed here. Ok ok, here's one:
ReplyDeleteFACT! An eagle sprouts a talon every time Randall Stephens begins a poem.
Heeeeeeheheheheheheeehee good one!
ReplyDelete