Supplication Letter

Dear Dark Overlord Capitalist Pig Oppressor Sir,

I'd like to apply for the position of Corporate Whore Bureaucratic Slave Official Administrator advertised on Saturday. I type good I'm so desperate for work, I'll do anything I'm an exceptionally skilled individual, and I'm sure that I can grovel brown-nose rise to the challenges of the job.
If you take a look at my attached resume, you'll see:

- I have excellent office skills (I type good) which extend to many areas (I also photocopy pretty well)

- I am a geek have advanced computer skills in such well-known programs as Internet Explorer, Microsoft Word, and Publisher. (Not only do I type good, but I spend too much time procrastinating on my computer at home.)

- I'm underwhelmed sure that this job would bore me out of my fucking brain; I'd just be typing in figures into a computer excited at the opportunities presented to me by this job, and I'm hoping to leap into it immediately!

Tim Train

(*Slightly paranoid note to any employers who may be reading this: this is an exaggeration! Don't take this too seriously! I'm more than willing to do even the simplest of jobs - ie, data entry, I'm just tired of making a simple data entry task seem like a 'challenge' or an 'exciting prospect' when it is anything but.)