Hello. My name is Adam.
I have Tourettes SynFUCK!SHIT!CUNT!drome, which
Makes me shout and SUCKMYFUCKINGARSE! a lot:
It is a real bitch.
Like, once, I went to ask this girl
Out upon a date:
I said, "Hi, ARGLEBLARGLEFLARGLEMARGLEWARGLEFARG!,
Tomorrow night at eight?"
She stared at me quite strangely,
Said, "Are you making fun?"
I instantly replied, "Oh no!
It's just that I've got AXEBLOOYMURDERDGUN!"
She clapped her hands together,
And, "Oh!" she said, "Me too!"
Ever since I POO!TIT!COCK!WEE!
And to think I never knew!"
So next year we got married.
And we'll never ever part -
Because - you know what our secret is?
It's SHIT!CRAP!DOODLE!FART!
outSTANDING ... don't forget that on Saturday!
ReplyDeleteI shouldn't laugh, but I am.
ReplyDeleteThat's great! I knew a guy in college who had tourettes, and he cracked me up--he didn't swear so much as RANDOMLY SAY A BUNCH OF HIS WORDS REALLY FUCKING LOUD! It was all excitement all the time.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone! I'm working on another one:
ReplyDeleteHello, my name is Jimmy
I have short-term memory loss.
Hello, my name is Jimmy
I have short-term memory loss.
Hello, my name is Jimmy
I have short-term memory loss.
Hello, my name is Jimmy
I have short-term memory loss.
I have short-term memory loss.
I think it palls a little there in the middle, but I'm quite happy with the conclusion.
Tourettes Syndrome is fascinating. What on earth could make a person go about randomly shouting words without being able to help it? Apparently a lot of guys who have Tourettes can be really musical ... was it true for that guy you knew in college, Vague?
Brillian poem, Tim. I laughed, I cried, I MOTHERRAPINGPORCHFUCKERS!!
ReplyDeleteHmm...I think the guy was a business major, but I can't really remember. Apparently people with tourette's also frequently have OCD, at least that's what I was told by the film Dirty Filthy Love, which, by the way, is pretty good.
ReplyDelete