The Seven Plagues of Egypt
The Four Mildly Irritating Influenzas of Akkadia
The Two Really Smelly Twins of Bethsherharazad
The Striking Down Of The Palestinians By Lightning
The Static Shock Jehosaphat got when he Picked His Nose on the Sabbath
The Smiting of the Philistines With Haeommorhoids and Mice
The Nine Pesky Puppies of Jerusalem
The Really Really Itchy Fleas of Shemorgazad
The Unfortunate Incident With Onan and the Superglue
The Fifteen Tedious Bureaucrats of Dormogon
The Two Boils of Baalam
Yikes! It's mice! There's a smitin' underway!
I apologise in advance for this.
ReplyDeleteAwwwwwwwwwwwwww look at the cute little mice!
So I said to Jehova, I said, 'Enough with the mice already! Smite people with something else, nobody's afraid of mice anymore!' But he just went ahead and sent them in.
ReplyDeleteNo wonder Job got pissed off with him.
At least I didn't show a picture of the pesky puppies of Jerusalem.
ReplyDeleteMice are way cuter than puppies.
ReplyDeleteStill, you know, sometimes the old ways are beast.
I'm tempted to have a PUPPIES VERSUS MICELETS poll, but that would be too much, even for this blog. With that level of cuteness, Blogger would probably explode!
ReplyDeleteNice punstering, Nails.
ReplyDeleteCan we be smitten by hedgehogs? Pleeeease?
I read something recently about a man who was smitten with a hedgehog. I believe he needed reconstructive surgery.
ReplyDeleteMicelets? lol
ReplyDeleteNo! I have to put my foot down about this, and I'm going to do it here and now...
ReplyDeleteOUCH!
F*&*^ing bl**%$^y hedgehogs!
Hedgehogs look like grumpy punk Ewoks, don't they? Or, at least, those ones did.
ReplyDeleteNow, now, no dissing the 'hogs, or things could get ugly.
ReplyDeleteI prefer chocolate hedgehogs. To be perfectly dinky di, maybe I should have put up an echidna. Here's one, apparently it's the 'rare white echidna'.
ReplyDeleteThere used to be a couple of those chaps at Taronga Zoo. I think they were from PNG. Pale yellow, and bigger than your average echidna.
ReplyDeleteA list of smitings without mention of Catriona Rowntree.
ReplyDeleteInteresting.
Tim, you seem to have a very large female following. I am feeling my masculinity is threatened by being one of the few male contributors here (along with that other Tim.)
ReplyDeleteBTW, I think rats are cuter than mice and smell less. (Or at least female rats. Males have overlarge testicles that also make me feel inadequate.)
You think YOUR masculinity is threatened? You should see MY masculinity. Beseiged on all sides.
ReplyDeleteI dunno, Alexis, at least you ocasionally get called by male names. I never do.
ReplyDelete*woe*
Must be the femasculating effect of this blog.
ReplyDeleteFemasculating rhythm,
Ba ba ba ba ba,
Femasculating rhythm,
Ba ba ba ba shoo wop.
It's true, Nails, I should count my blessings. A couple of years ago when I was on my way to a bagpiping gig, an elderly woman tried to shoo me out of the gels' loos at Circular Quay, suppoising me to be an intruding chap. Nothing like a sporran to confuse the old folk.
ReplyDelete