M., 27, of Newtown, Sydney, would like to become the main course for a 10-headed, 20-stomached vampire-demon from the chromium mountains of Xanxor 5. No joke applicants, please: have been burnt before. Must get along with future predator. Would prefer one with a sense of humour.
Hi there! A female 8-headed, 20-stomached vampire-demon here (I lost two of my heads in a fight with one of those vampire-demon hunter types). I don't have a sense of humour yet but I am working on developing one and hopefully will have it finished soon. I should warn you though, that I do carry around with me some baggage... I have a necklace strung up with the heads of my previous paramours/victims that I never leave home without. Anyway, if you think you're interested in becoming my next meal, drop by my lair sometime and say g'day!
ReplyDeleteAn offer too bad to refuse!
ReplyDeleteCough.
ReplyDeleteI can meet the vampire-demon criteria in a doddle, but, seriously, you're being unfairly picky, thereby excluding many beautiful and intelligent creatures with voracious appetites.
ReplyDeleteI have to question your sincerity in wanting to find an epicurean mate.
Who said anything about mate?
ReplyDeleteGiven that even the male praying mantis enjoys a spot of epicurean indulgence before having his head bitten off, surely you can give M, 27, of Newtown some respite.
ReplyDeleteTemporarily, they would be a "mate", of sorts.
ReplyDeleteYour preference for a sense of humour suggests a fun, matey kind of meal, non?
I think you've stretched that hope a bit too: hunger and humour are not a natural combination.
I am now all over facebook like a rash. I blame you.
ReplyDeleteIf M, 27, of Newtown is the one I sent to Tumut a few years back then I'm more than happy to help him with his death wish (as you can see, I don't hold grudges).
I suppose it would all depend if said praying mantis hailed from the locality of the chromium mountains of Xanxor 5 or not.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the producers of Dr Who can whip one up for M, 27, of Newtown in a jiffy, if recent episodes are anything to go by.
ReplyDeleteHi Tim, I want you to read my latest post - http://gempires.blogspot.com/2007/08/my-secret-other-blog.html , and comment if you wish. Cheers.
ReplyDelete