Non-sequitur poem
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Posies are pink.
The square root of ten thousand four hundred and four is one hundred and two.
Manners poem
- Do you mind?
- Not at all!
- It's not a ...?
- No!
- If I may...
- Quite all right!
- Quite, you say?
- Quite!
- This really is...
- Don't mention...!
- Are you sure?
- Go!
Dangling modifier poem
"O! Let us gaze into the moon!"
She cried, "In our pyjamas!"
"Or let us sit and drink and talk!"
He sighed, "Of loons and llamas!"
And hand in hand they gazed into
The pyjama-wearing moon;
And sat and talked and drank a cup
Of freshly-boiled loon.
"O let us eat this cake with forks!"
She yawped beguilingly.
"Or let us singing wear our socks!"
He answered smilingly.
So then they sat and ate a cake,
And then they ate their forks;
And then they donned their singing socks
And went out for a walk.
She gazed at him, and he at her,
And there and then they knew:
She gladly fell into his arms,
And madly, he did too.
It was a tight fit, to be sure -
But what else could they do?
Understatement poem
April isn't a very good month,
But let's not go over the top.
UPDATE! - An overaccurate compliment poem.
Technically, I'm sure you could argue that violets are violet rather than blue, but violet doesn't make a good rhyme.
ReplyDeletethe dangling modifier one was especially gratifying for a student of editing. it belongs in a dahl-esque book of children's poems...for smart kids.
ReplyDeleteBloody 'ell. You are clever.
ReplyDeleteI have a few more in the works...
ReplyDeleteI originally wrote the dangling modifier one without verses two and four, and if you take them out (which you can, they're only in there to make things clearer) you have a sonnet, of sorts.
ReplyDeleteI'm a big fan of the non-sequitur poem myself. I shared it with my coworkers and they thoroughly enjoyed it. Good work! :)
ReplyDeleteLovely new works for the Year 7 Poetry Textbook I am gradually compiling. Dangle those modifiers in front of the eager noses of the syllabus writers and they will sniff the grammar "outcomes" of the future. Bravo.
ReplyDeleteYe Gads, I fear you have had an encounter with the fumes of 'Outcomes Education', Mitzi! Time for the epsom salts!
ReplyDeletePleased to be of service, Colonel Eggroll. :)
The understatement poem is my favourite poem of the day, maybe tomorrow as well.
ReplyDelete*Phew*
ReplyDeleteI was beginning to think my Understatement had been misunderestimated.
Maybe my next round of efforts should include a misunderestimation poem.
Great stuff Timmy. The "Dangling modifier" had me swooning!
ReplyDeletePerhaps they could swoon,
by the light of the moon,
to a tune again soon?
Roses are red,
ReplyDeleteViolets are violet,
Without the traditional "blue" rhyme,
This poem gets left on auto-pilot.
'course there's rhymes.
Roses are red
ReplyDeleteViolets are Vi-o-let,
I don't like violet flowers much,
That's why I don't buy a lot.
Roses are red,
Violets are vi-o-let
If you bring me cheap daisies though,
You'll be hearing goodbye a lot.
etc
Roses are red
ReplyDeleteViolets are violet
These poems, I admit
Are something I smile at.
Roses are red
ReplyDeleteAnd violets aren't blue.
Violets are violet,
And a good thing too.
It's also good
It isn't spelled Voilet
Because then poems would end with
The smelly word 'Toilet'.
The romantic poem is very Mervyn Peake-ish.
ReplyDelete