Dear Universe,
I have just discovered that I have worn my shirt inside-out to work today.
I humbly request that the entire universe turn itself inside out as well in order to match my shirt, as this would save me the trouble of nipping into the toilet and changing.
Also, I find it a little inconvenient placing town names to their states/countries of origin. If you could arrange as soon as possible for an easy-to-follow schemata (say, starting at the south pole and working your way up) by which town names are arranged throughout the entire world in alphabetic order, then that would be just dandy.
I appreciate your assistance in this matter.
Yours sincerely,
Timothy H. Train.
Farking hell, please get yourself a gig in a national daily or sunday supp at least, PRONTO.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I followed the link to this post via a facebook flurry about the dreadful Sandilands - and it was a strangely serendipitous comment, I thought, on the mindset of people like that.
Dear Tim,
ReplyDeleteGet yourself a wife. Failing that, a mirror. Make sure you LOOK IN IT before you leave the house.
Yours sincerely,
The Universe
Gosh, the universe is now talking directly to Tim (peace be upon him).
ReplyDeleteI did that once. The shirt thing. Not the arranging towns thing.
ReplyDeleteNever had the courage to own up to it. I say good on ya TimT.
Maybe it had something to do with the fact I didn't have a wife either.
Never you mind, Superman wore his undies outside his pants for years and no one seemed to care. Perhaps it was because he could fly too, for which much is forgiven.
I did that once.
ReplyDeleteJust once?
Thanks Helen, Steve, Maria, and The Entire Universe (hey, the entire universe reads my blog, that's got to be a good thing! Not sure why it isn't reflected in the blog stats...)
ReplyDeleteI did that once. Well it was once that I noticed and remembered to change in the bathroom. There may have been times I sported it all day proudly and never noticed.
ReplyDeleteIf you consider how long I've had a job and how many times I've been to work that's actually been to work that's actually a fair percentage slab though ...
bahahahahaha wonderful.
ReplyDeleteyou just made all the cord-fumbling it took me to work the new non-wireless internet work at home worthwhile
x
That's nothing. Imagine getting all dressed up and arriving at a nice restaurant for a special dinner, and then looking down as you're being led to your table and realizing you've put on shoes from two different pairs.
ReplyDeleteI'd say nobody noticed, judging by the number of garments designed to look inside out hanging in the shops.
ReplyDelete[barmis]