Thursday, October 01, 2009

Patronisingalong

(To the tune of Cole Porter's 'You're the Top')

You're the bum!
You're the great Grand Canyon!
You're the bum!
You're Saddam's companion!
You're a malady from a stagnant gulch
You're the gloop in the bin that holds the fruit mulch!
You're the world's arse end,
Not just Antarctic, or Antarcticer, you're the Antarcticest
Baby, at being bums, you're the best!
You're a loser, you're a boozer, you're a slum -
Baby, you're the bum!

(Audience breaks into wild applause and sneers, fade out)

12 comments:

  1. Zingalong now!

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  2. Big band zing music.

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  3. Naturally no, just a post written to prove that you could patronise by song.

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  4. To which, in my opinion, the only appropriate reaction is to pretend to sound offended in one's best Manhattan.

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  5. I'm like a coastline house that is so close to the waters it sometimes gets flooded. I'm over-littoral.

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  6. In fact I googled 'tawkin' to see if you there was a second meaning you were using to facilitate a pun!

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  7. Crooning (to the tune of Bette Midler):

    I could soar higher than the beagle!
    You are the wind beneath my things.

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  8. Bummishness. I can relate only too well, and especially too well of late.

    TimT, when in a bummish state ...

    I only soar about high as a beetle,
    At least no wind can fit beneath my wings!iming

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  9. Let's hear it for the bums!

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  10. Fantastico, I want to see it live on the TV.

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  11. I'm planning the musical now Paul. It'll be the most downlifting musical ever!

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