Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Turn-off poetry

Turn-off poetry. Poetry intended to inspire raging feelings of sexual placidity, disinterest, and ambivalence. Also known as sclerotic verse.

The drugs no longer work, dear,
Viagra's lost its touch.
There always is Cialis, but
That costs a bit too much.

That Goat Weed tastes disgusting,
And I hate that Chinese stuff -
I think the time has come, dear,
To say enough's enough.

But do not be depressed, dear,
For now on, you will find,
If I can't love you bodily,
I'll love you with my mind,

Though I might get distracted
From you for a short time,
Please rest assured my love
For you will be sublime.

Although we do not hug now,
And hardly ever kiss,
Please know I always think of you
In an ecstatic bliss.

Although we sleep apart now,
And hardly ever touch,
We'll make love all the time
(Though never speaking much.)

The drugs no longer work, dear,
Viagra's lost its touch.
There always is Cialis, but
That costs a bit too much.

That Goat Weed tastes disgusting,
And I hate that Chinese stuff -
I think the time has come, dear,
To say enough's enough.

4 comments:

  1. Is that an erroneous "it's" I spot down there, Timoth, next to the Viagra (ho ho, isn't he a wit)? For shame.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Full marks for planning ahead Timmy.

    Every man should have such a poem in his back pocket, in readiness for his old age.

    Clearly Rupert Murdoch was not as well prepared, and look what happened to him.

    ReplyDelete
  3. When your finger's on the switch

    You the Man
    Controls the market niche...

    ReplyDelete