Proposed advertising campaigns for somewhat obscure or offputting products

Here is a song I wrote about suet. I can see it spearheading a national ad campaign championing the virtues of this fatty fat that comes from around an animal's loins and kidneys. Now I think I'll just sit back and wait for the ad dollars to roll in...

Making pudding?
Have a cruet?
Want to glue it?
I know
Why not
Try some
Suet!

You won't rue it!
Have some suet!
Do it! Do it! Do it! Suet!

Have you tried it?
I intuit
That the suet
Was quite helpful
Yes I knew it!

You won't rue it!
Have some suet!
Do it! Do it! Do it! Suet!

Or an appropriate vegetarian substitute.