It's AFL Grand Final time and I haven't been this excited since Phar Lap won the Ashes against the South Sydney Rabbitohs.
But we'll get to Tiddlywinks in a moment.
Football! The game that turns the champions into men! Or occasionally women, depending on their gender preferences.
The three stages of football: someone's going to win! Someone's winning! Someone has won!
(But lining up for a big kick - do footballers ever get an itchy nose?)
The end (told you I wasn't going anywhere in particular).
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