More Riting Tips for Employers

 Employers! After putting our heads together, my diverse readership and me have come up with some more tips to help you write the perfect job ad!

 Chas suggests:

 Haiku:
 This firm has a job
 For a suitable worker
 Fools need not apply.
 
 Write an ad one letter at a time for as many Saturdays as it takes. The applicant who sticks around long enough gets the job.
 
 I suggest:

 Sit 10,000 monkeys in front of a keyboard and get them to write the ad. Not only will they do a better job than most job-ad writers, but they'll work for peanuts. Literally.
 
 Also:
 - Extortion. "If you do not apply for this job, I KILL YOU!"
 - Picking up from the previous post, why not try writing the job whilst wearing a moustache? It may not make any difference to the quality of the ad, but you will be doing your bit to combat the saddening decline in the popularity of this once noble item of facial apparel.
 - Take a tip from the conceptual artists, and make your ad using exciting substances like elephant dung or urine. Old fogeys will inevitably write into the paper about your ad to complain and young farts will write in to defend you; your ad will thus get much more publicity than it would otherwise have had.
 - Alternatively, don't bother writing the ad, hire me to do it.