A poem in excellent taste
Ye carbo-gluto-great disgrace!
For years the Haggis set the standard
For horror foods, but I'll be candid,
Now other foods have come to try it,
To eat of which would cause a riot.
Would Sir prefer to rock the Casbah
With a slice of deep-fried Mars Bar,
Or would Sir rather rot his molar
With this deep-fried Coca Cola?
But Aussies can contend with these
With floater pies complete with peas -
To gaze within that Stygian grime,
The cow would die a second time.
Halal Snack Packs complete with cheese
Compete with this for extra quease.
A slice of fruit for those more pure -
It smells like foetid bogs and sewer.
A Parma can reward the senses
With its homely decadences,
But for sheer bloody What-The-Fucken-
Hell-Is-This at parties, try Turducken.
Lutefisk, Moose Nose, Bird-spit soups,
Stylised culinary poops -
Spit beer served in Mason jars
By suspect men in dingy bars;
Blue-green algae lattes (what the?
I'll go back to ol' Pigs Trotters).
This list of epicurean shame
Is long and everyone's to blame
And though I wish I'd not begun,
I'll just say this and then I'm done -
If you can eat it, please go nuts!
So long as you don't spill your guts.
