Saturday, August 26, 2017

Pub tongue twister....

Pub tongue twister - if you can recite it perfectly, then you clearly haven't had enough to drink.

The bald bard bawled
By the bad bard's bar
For the bald bard had brawled
With the bored bawd's bra*,
Til the big broad barman 
Barred the bard from the bar
So the bald bard bawled
By the.... blah blah blah blah. 


Friday, August 25, 2017

The most lamentable tragedy of Marcel Marceau

SCENE: A doctor's office. The DOCTOR is sitting at the desk going through his notes. In through the door comes MARCEL MARCEAU. 

DOCTOR: Yes. Good morning, Mr Marceau. I'm glad you've come to see me. I've been looking at your test results and they're not good. Not good at all, I'm afraid. 

MARCEL MARCEAU: (Says nothing). 

DOCTOR: And - yes, well. I think you'd better get comfortable and prepare yourself for what I've got to say. 

MARCEL MARCEAU: (Says nothing). 

DOCTOR: You see, Mr Marceau.... ahem.... I'm afraid you've got gesticular cancer. 


DOCTOR: Hm. Clearly it's already entered the terminal stage. 


Thursday, August 10, 2017

Clearly learning about grammar in my German classes has driven me mad

Seeking for pluperfection

Had I the hat that I had had 
When I had had a hat 
Ah! Then the hat that I had had
Would have to have been that! 

And if the hat that I had had 
Had had a band of red
Then oft that hat that I had had
Had sat upon my head. 

Alas! The hat that I had had 
Had had a band although
The band the hat that I had had 
Had had had faded so. 

No more the hat I had to have 
Was mad to have and glad - 
I threw away that sad old hat 
The hat I had had had. 

If the reader so desires, they can find the right places to put the commas in amongst all those 'hads'. 

Tuesday, August 08, 2017

Not that I'm saying the world's going to explode if I don't answer this question, but you know, it probably will.

Right, world, listen up. You've kept us waiting too long and we all demand the answer to this question:

What on earth do homeschoolers who homeschool their kids call, you know, homework?

Email: timhtrain - at -

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