kidattypewriter

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

A pub poem

My chip has fallen to the floor.
The bar is crowded. I look down.
Sehnsucht. A lawless longing for
The unattainable. I frown.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

STUDY: people who stay up late and are messy and get distracted easily and are five foot two and prefer dark chocolate and have a moustache but not a beard and who don't do the dishes often and who prefer dogs to cats and who live in Ringwood and who are called Brad are very intelligent

STUDY: people who stay up late and are messy and get distracted easily and are five foot two and prefer dark chocolate and have a moustache but not a beard and who don't do the dishes often and who prefer dogs to cats and who live in Ringwood and who are called Brad are very intelligent.

In breaking news, a new study confirms that people who stay up late and are messy and get distracted easily and are five foot two and prefer dark chocolate and have a moustache but not a beard and who don't do the dishes often and who prefer dogs to cats and who live in Ringwood and who are called Brad are very intelligent, according to a person called Brad.

Brad, who performed the intensive study in his offices in Ringwood, released this groundbreaking study to the international media this morning. The study had a sample size of one.

In other news, Brad is 28 years old, lives in his parent's cellar, and spends most of his time scratching his bum.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Poem composed on Mothers' Day 2017

I offer this poem to all: parents, aspiring parents and offspring alike.

Dear Mistress, dear Master, 
We render to thee
A morsel of mouse
Made tender for thee -
How pleasant a present 
For the household to see!
Now what shall thy gift
To thy parents be?

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Gliterature

'Glittering' is a glittery word. 'Glistering' is a glittery word. 'Lustre' is a glittery word too. But combine them all and 'glustering' isn't very glittery at all. What the hell?

I have lost all my faith in the gliterary qualities of language.

Wednesday, May 03, 2017

Anglo-Saxon Doge

Ēadig, þec tō mētenne, fréondléasta! Behealden! "Anglo-Saxon Doge". Georne!  

Doge Meme | SWIC LOLEN MONEGUM ROFLEN FELEFOLD WOW | image tagged in memes,doge | made w/ Imgflip meme maker
Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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