Putting up with the offputting up putting

Washing lines

I decided to put the washing off

But I put the putting off off: 

So I'm putting it up. It's offputting. 

(Insert here an awkward cough.) 

Thank you everyone for attending this blog post today. Please come back to the same location tomorrow for even less. 

Country jaunt

 I was in Seymour yesterday and all the locals were snickering at my hat. Which I suppose is an important thing about hats. If people can’t snicker at unimportant people wearing hats, what good are the hats for? Seymour also has a pub, a cafe, and a train station, which is how I got there. Altogether I think I can safely say that Seymour has almost all the things to make it convincingly a town. Here is a poem I wrote about Seymour. Aren’t you lucky.

The watercourse is
Empty. They call it ‘Deep Creek’.
See less in Seymour. 

Boop boop beep bop! Writing prompts for your friendly neighbourhood AI.

 

• Write Philip Larkin's name in the style of Agatha Christie. 
• Write a poem about everything in invisible ink. 
• Write Philip Larkin’s name in the style of Philip Larkin.
• Write a comma in the style of Dorothy Parker.
• Write James Joyce’s ‘Ulysses’ in the style of James Joyce’s ‘Ulysses’.
• Write absolutely nothing at all in the style of a limerick.
• Make a sandwich.
• Live a long and rich and full life. Don’t actually write anything about it, I just want you to enjoy yourself.
• Write a bad poem, well.
• Write a short story about going to the toilet, but don’t tell me.
• Count up to two in an English accent.
• Summarise a summary.
• Have a nice day in a German accent.
• Tell me the first word that doesn’t come into your head.
• Sing the first letter of the alphabet, backwards.
• Write out your name on a pink slip of paper, put it in a bottle, seal it, and throw it far out to sea. Watch as the waves take it away. Watch as the golden sun fades to pink and then purple on the waves. Attain a deep sense of oneness with all things. Think about what it all means.
• Talk amongst yourselves for a while.

UPDATE! - why yes, we've been here before! 

Also plus: here's some more writing prompts for you.