Christmas Pig

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! I got you a pig! 

The pig is not yours. It's a charity pig

That I got for some people in south Vietnam.

I don't know who they are, but they run a small farm,

Or something like that, and they're terribly poor

And they've never been able to eat pig before. 

But that doesn't matter! Your present is better,

Because I got you a card and I wrote you a letter

Which I've most ostentatiously signed with my name

Thus assuaging my white middle class feelings of shame.

And speaking of presents, gee, I don't know how

But I didn't get any. 

... So I'm eating your chocolates right now.