The Illuminati have a
webpage, and about time too! It's just ridiculous in this modern day and age that between them and the Reptilian blue bloods they haven't been able to rustle up a little blog or twitter outreach account to keep us updated on their plans for world domination. Anyway, I've just sent them in a job application.
Dear Sir/Madam/Miscellaneous,
Citizens of the Illuminati, I send you
hateful beatings hearty greetings! I recognise your organisation as
supreme superior, a truly
horrific terrifying terrific group of people! Absolutely world
eaters beaters! Nobody beats the world better than you!
I write to you now seeking
domination nomination
over of to your society, and shortly look forward to offering myself as a
tyrannic leader terrific leader to the world! In working
to do my bidding together, we can
subject subjugate exterminate expect the world to shortly come to deliver all due
praise glory honour abject grovelling acts of meek obeisance plaudits to
I me myself us.
My feelings at the moment are
predomination predominantly
aggro eager; I am
licking my lips lustful looking forward to working with you more,
destructively desolatingly desirous to further the
claws jaws spores cause of our organisation and thus
order the world institute a new world order.
Soon, soon my
fiends friends, we shall
destroy the world enjoy the world's praise! I
horribly happily anticipate
making you my minions myself meeting you. Further,
the war for global destruction I look forward to a fruitful discussion!
Fools! Fools! Soon you shall all be mine! Yours sincerely, Tim Train
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