The Illuminati have a webpage, and about time too! It's just ridiculous in this modern day and age that between them and the Reptilian blue bloods they haven't been able to rustle up a little blog or twitter outreach account to keep us updated on their plans for world domination. Anyway, I've just sent them in a job application.
Citizens of the Illuminati, I send you hateful beatings hearty greetings! I recognise your organisation as supreme superior, a truly horrificterrifying terrific group of people! Absolutely world eaters beaters! Nobody beats the world better than you!
I write to you now seeking domination nomination overof to your society, and shortly look forward to offering myself as a tyrannic leader terrific leader to the world! In working to do my bidding together, we can subjectsubjugateexterminate expect the world to shortly come to deliver all due praisegloryhonourabject grovellingacts of meek obeisance plaudits to Imemyself us.
My feelings at the moment are predomination predominantly aggro eager; I am licking my lipslustful looking forward to working with you more, destructivelydesolatingly desirous to further the clawsjawsspores cause of our organisation and thus order the world institute a new world order.
Soon, soon my fiends friends, we shall destroy the world enjoy the world's praise! I horribly happily anticipate making you my minions myself meeting you. Further, the war for global destruction I look forward to a fruitful discussion!
Fools! Fools! Soon you shall all be mine! Yours sincerely, Tim Train