Pub tongue twister....

Pub tongue twister - if you can recite it perfectly, then you clearly haven't had enough to drink.

The bald bard bawled

By the bad bard's bar

For the bald bard had brawled

With the bored bawd's bra*,

Til the big broad barman 

Barred the bard from the bar

So the bald bard bawled

By the.... blah blah blah blah. 

*Consensually. 

The most lamentable tragedy of Marcel Marceau

SCENE: A doctor's office. The DOCTOR is sitting at the desk going through his notes. In through the door comes MARCEL MARCEAU. 

DOCTOR: Yes. Good morning, Mr Marceau. I'm glad you've come to see me. I've been looking at your test results and they're not good. Not good at all, I'm afraid. 

MARCEL MARCEAU: (Says nothing). 

DOCTOR: And - yes, well. I think you'd better get comfortable and prepare yourself for what I've got to say. 

MARCEL MARCEAU: (Says nothing). 

DOCTOR: You see, Mr Marceau.... ahem.... I'm afraid you've got gesticular cancer. 

MARCEL MARCEAU: 

DOCTOR: Hm. Clearly it's already entered the terminal stage. 

FIN

Clearly learning about grammar in my German classes has driven me mad

Seeking for pluperfection

Had I the hat that I had had 

When I had had a hat 

Ah! Then the hat that I had had

Would have to have been that! 

And if the hat that I had had 

Had had a band of red

Then oft that hat that I had had

Had sat upon my head. 

Alas! The hat that I had had 

Had had a band although

The band the hat that I had had 

Had had had faded so. 

No more the hat I had to have 

Was mad to have and glad - 

I threw away that sad old hat 

The hat I had had had. 

If the reader so desires, they can find the right places to put the commas in amongst all those 'hads'. 

Not that I'm saying the world's going to explode if I don't answer this question, but you know, it probably will.

Right, world, listen up. You've kept us waiting too long and we all demand the answer to this question:

What on earth do homeschoolers who homeschool their kids call, you know, homework?

HOW CAN WE GO ON LIVING THIS EXISTENCE WITHOUT AN ANSWER TO THIS VITAL QUESTION?