How come the cat never lets me sit on her lap?
How many fur balls do cats make in their life? Is it related to how many words a man must utter in his life? Or how many roads a man must walk down?
Where is a cats lap anyway?
How to attract a cat: sit still and look like a lap. Make pleasant, lap-shaped sounds.
Wear a coat that is the opposite colour to the cat's fur. A black cat won't sit on a black coat. What's the point? Nobody will notice the fur.
If it is a spotty cat, best to wear a spotty coat, so all the different fur colours will have a chance to shine.
Laps are very mysterious, when you think about it. They disappear when you stand up, and nobody knows where they go. And cats sit in them, not on them (by contrast, a cat can't sit in your leg, or in your chest, or in your face): can you think of any other body part quite like this?
Own two shoes: one for your left foot, one for your right foot, and one for the cat to drop the mouse into. Okay, that's three shoes. Own three shoes.
The past is like cat biscuits: dry and reliable. The future is the wet food: tempting, delicious, and a little bit moist. And sometimes, it squeaks.
Cat talk is very economical, consisting of just one four-letter word. Who needs grammar when you've got meow?
Cats: bathe themselves in their own spit.
Chooks: have dust baths.
Humans: just bathe in water. Seems quite tame in comparison.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
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- Poetry 24
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- More Sterne
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- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
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- Hail Paco!
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- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
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- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
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- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
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- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
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- Lexicon the Mexican
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