A Christmas dirge

Oh gosh, who would have thought, what do you know, this one (pausing dramatically, while someone rolls the drum, and someone else draws the curtains and someone else pops outside to get a quick cigarette and everyone else taps their fingers impatiently) - this one is from Badger's Dozen too!

A Christmas Dirge

My CD will not play!

My CD will not play!

I’ve tried and tried all day

And I suppose that I could try another one but then again the CD rack is much too far away -

Jingle all the way.

My pencil will not go!

My pencil will not go!

And when it does it’s slow!

And also plus I’m pretty sure I will not get another as a present but of course you never know.

Ho ho ho ho ho.

I have lost my chocolate bar!

I have lost my chocolate bar!

I weep and wail and wah

Perhaps but I could buy another at the store that’s half a block away but then again that half a block is half a block too far -

Fa la la la la la la la la.

My brother drank my beer!

My brother drank my beer!

I left it sitting here

I just left it for one minute when I came back it was gone and his whole face had a leer -

And a happy new year.