Friday, February 28, 2014

Suburban nude

Getting undressed for the shower, you are just shrugging off the final item of clothing when you realise with annoyance that you are not sure whether you have taken the post in for today. Laziness slouches in as you decide you couldn't be bothered putting your clothes back on to get the mail. Soon after comes anxiety, and with it the dawning awareness that you will have to do a naked sprint for the letter box to see if there is any mail (this is even more irritating than those times when you took the bins back in wearing only your dressing gown, or did the gardening in a pair of underpants). Then comes concern: for your neighbours, who will undoubtedly be horrified by your nude sprinting up and down the driveway. Not to mention how embarrassing you will find it if the letterbox actually turns out to be empty because you have either actually taken in the mail earlier today and forgotten about it or you just didn't get any mail today anyway.

And then enters the good old feeling of Ah Fuck It and you turn the shower on and get back to your ordinary state of utter apathetic bliss.


Anonymous said...

Presently I run a Wiccan Coven and part of our Black mass ritual is being naked (or as we call it- being sky clad). We have our weekly coven in my front garden and there have been a number of complaints by neighbours. We are going through the magistrates court to challenge our right to have a religious (if nude) ritual in the land that rightfully belongs to us. We shall fight this to the end. I will swear my oath on the fossilised member of the Great 666 himself, Alistair Crowley.

yours satanically,

Monsieur Lune de Noir

Steve said...

If your beard is long enough to cover your privates, you might be legally OK, tim.

TimT said...

I could be the proverbial Mr Nature.

Steve said...

Exactly. I thought you might comment on the necessity of growing it to your knees taking a bit too long, though. ( Emphasis on knees)

Steve said...

I do get the impression that youcould be happy as a nudist chicken, cat and bee raiser, and artisan cheese maker, on a plot of land near Byron Bay. A groinal hairnet might be necessary while u dothe cheese, though.

TimT said...

Nudist chicken raising is easy. After all, chooks are nude anyway.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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