kidattypewriter

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

A controversial opinion concerning teaspoons

It is my trenchant and unwavering opinion that all desserts ought to be eaten with a teaspoon rather than a dessert spoon, because that way it lasts longer.

Now, I know that is controversial and will meet with well-argued and powerful rebuttals. Tim, that's crazy talk! You must be some kind of idiot! Where will it all end? And all of these arguments are true, so far as they go.

But to my detractors, I simply say this: you wouldn't eat your tea with a teaspoon, would you? No you would not. And you wouldn't eat your table with a tablespoon, would you? Again, no. For these food sources - important as they are in our everyday diet for maintaining appropriate levels of proteins, and vitamins, and tannins, and wood, and stuff - we reserve other items of cutlery. For instance, when I eat my table, I usually use a saw and a mallet. It really makes the legs much more fibrous and chewy.

It is true that you could argue, also, that if a teaspoon makes a dessert last longer, wouldn't a skewer be even better at the same job? Maybe so: but have you ever tried balancing a bit of of custard on top of a skewer? It would take you forever! I mean, you have to stop somewhere, is what I'm saying.

So there you have it. I expect that this post will attract a lot of fervent disagreement, hatred even: but I simply ask you this. Take it out on me. Not on the poor teaspoons.

And, if it's anything by way of consolation, there is this: tea should always be served out of teapots. Out of any other pot, it would be just barbaric.

2 comments:

epicormicgrowth said...

Absolutely in agreement. Or parfait spoon or other pretty little spoon. Last night I put the (98% fat-free) yoghurt and frozen raspberries in a pretty glass dessert bowl - because that made it taste better and let me really focus on eating it.

(PS There's evidence that mindful eating provides greater satiety and therefore assists with weight management).

TimT said...

So you mean that eating a great big jam-filled donut and really focusing on each delicious lard-filled crumb as it melts in your mouth is good for you? No need to say yes, I think I'll do that now.

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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