Today, I observed a sporty girl bear an oversized test tube containing what looked like water with what appeared to be pond scum in the top of it

Today, I observed a sporty girl bear an oversized test tube containing what looked like water with what appeared to be pond scum in the top of it. She took a pointlessly big plastic straw, and proceeded to stir the appeared-to-be-pond-scum into the what-looked-like-water, and then plonked the straw right in and took a big contented slurp.

Our interest in health has given the world some very disturbing foods in the past hundred odd years, but none, I submit, quite so disturbing as a test tube full of appears-to-be-pond-scum on top of what-looks-like-water. The adage 'If it tastes good, it can't be good for you' these days seems to submit itself to some flexibility these days: 'If it tastes yuck and looks disgusting, it must be brilliant for you', perhaps. Certainly, I never thought I would see the day when people would present themselves in front of me drinking gigantic beakers full of pond scum. What happened to friendly old men drinking unknown substances out of brown paper bags, for heavens' sakes?

I blame Tony Abbott. Or Malcolm Turnbull. Or Daniel Andrews. Or whoever it is one blames for such things at the present time. Whatever. I blame them all.