Thoughts about football

It's all 'Bulldogs' this and 'Swans' that and 'Magpies', 'Lions' and 'Bombers' with some people. I ask you - what do sporty people have against the fierce poodle, the ferocious capybara, the terrifying tardigrade, that these noble creatures- bastions of the animal kingdom- should be omitted from all team regalia the world over? I must admit, I once formulated a proposal for a new AFL team with the name 'Wombats'. I even wrote a team song! Well, the first few lines, anyway:

When the wombats
Enter combat
When the wombats boldly charge into the fray...

Instead, the AFL went with the 'Suns' and the 'Giants'. Boooooring!

And while we're on the general topic, why don't we discuss the matter of team costumes: what do these people have against polka dots, teal, aqua, turquoise, or puce? Is it such a stretch from wearing stripes to the equally-distinctive spots? The animal kingdom seems to have no trouble accommodating either: contemplate the noble tiger (stripes) and the regal leopard (spotty). I mean, come on! AFL is a game in which grown men run around in short shorts to show tunes from the 1930s. It can't be that difficult.

In conclusion, this is my proposal for the AFL: have more spotty costumes, and call a team the Wombats.