Pedestrian traffic lights depicting female figures will be installed in Melbourne's CBD today as a part of a lobby group's push for gender equality... The Committee for Melbourne — a non-profit organisation comprising more than 120 Melbourne business and community groups — is behind the move.Now some people may say we are literally only making a symbolic change to traffic light symbols, but I say no! In making a literally symbolic change, the Committee for Melbourne are making a bold new symbolically literal change, which will literally change things for the better (for symbols)! For too long gender discrimination has existed in the literal world of symbols, and symbols have been symbolically demonstrating for a literal change to their symbolism for symbolic years!
Furthermore, it may seem to some of our more annoying discerning readers that in pushing for this literally symbolic change to literal symbols, the Committee are literally making the wrong symbolic reading of the literal symbols, and are therefore being illiterately symbolic, or only symbolically literate, or something... anyway, the claim is, what's all this about women not being able to wear trousers? Can't the little symbolic traffic light person be a symbolic woman? But again, I say, no! In order to effect this literally symbolic change, or this symbolically literal change (I forget what now), the Committee will use literally the best symbols to symbolise their literally symbolic women! Like rolling pins! And stilettos! And beehive hairdos! You'll be literally blown away by how symbolically womanish they'll be!
And also plus in addition, some people might object that the meanings of 'literally' and 'symbolically' have become so blurred nowadays that they are effectively one and the same word, and that my blog post means nothing. In which case, I would literally be forced to utter a very rude symbol indeed. Like, literally literally.