Thursday, April 14, 2011

Employment advice

"I'm sorry I'm late to work because I stopped in Thornbury to check out how my zines were going only I walked the wrong way to the shop and had to turn back and retrace my steps and then got into conversation with the guy at the store and then when I got to the bus stop the bus to Moreland Station had just gone so I had to wait for the next one and by the time I got to Moreland Station the only train I could catch was the one that got me to work fifteen minutes after the bit where I would have been only five minutes late."
And that is why you shouldn't ever tell the truth about being late to work. Not only is it easier to remember a lie afterwards, but it's far far easier to sound convincing while you are doing the lie.
"I'm sorry I'm late to work, I got attacked by lions."
Maybe you shouldn't throw in this line, though:
"It won't happen again."
Because, hey, you never know.

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Me person. Live in world. Like stuff. Need job. Need BRAINS! (DROOLS IN THE MANNER OF ZOMBIES) Ergggggh ...