You probably know that I don't like Tolkien's Lord of the Rings. I especially don't like that bit in the second book, The Two Towers that bit where it really drags because they're just going to Mordor going to Mordor going to Mordor, you know? That's right, the bit I don't like in the second book is all of it, and a little bit more. (Open up The Return of the King and they're still at it, trudging through another set of dreary chapters).
And you know what I think they need in Lord of the Rings? A good train. That's right, some decent public transport infrastructure would really spruce things up. Imagine if all Frodo had to do would be to catch the 10.45 to Mordor, how that would speed things up! Granted there'd be a few stops along the way, various elves and Nazguls to pick up, I suppose, but it'd just be like the Craigieburn train. Nothing a few ticket inspectors couldn't sort out.
Now I know Tolkien's dead, and wouldn't have ever agreed to a train in his book even if he was alive, and I know Frodo's already thrown the ring into Mount Gloom or Mount Doom or whatever they call it, but it's never too late to agitate for a good high-speed rail project, is it? Especially something as vital to national enhancement as the Mordor-Middle-Earth express. All aboooooooooooard!
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2016 (58)
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- Over there
- Dark Age Rage
- And the kids from Bundoora were scrabbling around ...
- An ideological interpretation of a popular song
- The canine life of Bright
- Miss pique
- The return of Angry Barky Dog
- Judging a cover by its book
- Cities of wonder and amazement and opobalsamum
- Employment advice
- VERY IMPORTANT BLOG POST*
- Farty speculations
- Things which I know make no sense but which I stil...
- Eat my bathroom
- Various bits about various things
- Dozy dizzy daisy
- Coffee sandwiches, gingerbags, and teabread
- Non-sequiturs from my life
- Light verse
- Blog post number something or other
- Where did I go wrong?
- Proposals for television shows
- Stirring team anthems written for vegetables #997
- Apposite opposition proposition
- Someone tell the Nazguls to stop sniffing paint ca...
- Modest and reasonable
- ▼ April (26)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)