A poem about Gaia

Gaia, Earth Mother
 (Bountiful, radiant,
  Burgeoning, beautiful)
   Walks to the shops.
Behind her spring daisies,
 Birds singing and bunnies,
  Rainbows and kittens,
   And non-GM crops.
Her phone rings. Oh bugger.
 Her old 90s boyfriend,
  Captain Planet, the arsehole.
   That does it, she thinks, I'm calling the cops.

As Mother-of-all,
 Gaia's feeling her age,
  A zillion year's old,
   Not counting today.
And Nature, her kid?
 Hardly bothers to call
  Smokes far too much pot,
   And is probably gay.