Frae a mouse
Gigantic honking human bastard
In whose perfumes the room is blasted,
Your southern winds for years have lasted -
Would it were so, I'd have breakfasted
On your breezes.
Your odours are beyond proportion -
Is this some form of pet extortion? -
Think of my snout and its small portion
Ere you let fly -
Pray, Sir, to exercise more caution,
Or I die!
(Original Robert Burns poem for contrast).