Pointless simile of the day

As quick as a whip in a snowstorm.

The land of the rising polka dot

How great is the Japanese flag? It's a big red spot. There should be more spotty nation flags. It would make the world a more cheery place.

Earth hour poems

Brunswick party
Someone announces "It's Earth hour!"
Shit

Earth hour
We all practice being one
With darkness

Advantages/disadvantages
In the dark
No-one can see
You're a Goth

Advantages/disadvantages

We get to light candles

A small gesture to our own inherent

Pyromania

Advantages/disadvantages

The conversation

Naturally enough

Turns

Towards suicide

Advantages/disadvantages

Half the room gets to use

The torchlight function on

The iPhone 6

Confused guests pile in

To pitch black house

Earth hour.

House bachelor for the week

The Baron has gone to Sydney for a week, so I am pootling about the house indulging in that most simple of pleasures - batching. Let's survey how things have gone so far.

*For dinner tonight, for want of anything better to do, I chucked some stuff at some butter on the stovetop. Then when that was done I added cheese and pasta. Yum.

*For dinner tomorrow night I will be scrounging off friends. Double yum.

*For dinner the night after, pizza. And beer. Actually, there was beer every night - that really doesn't need to be said.

*I've been keeping the house super clean. Just two hours ago I ran a sink full of hot water and squirted some detergent into it. Then I threw all the dirty things I could find in it, including: plates, knives, forks, spoons, bowls, cups, coffee machine parts, honey straining equipment, and socks. Some day I may even take them out again.

*I just picked the espresso machine off the floor, and, noticing that it had flour on it, I dusted the flour back onto the floor. A place for everything, and for everything a place!

*There is a badger in the bathroom, which I am using to catch all the potoroos that have got into medicine drawer.

*I am lounging around on the couch in Australia flag underwear. But then, I do that all the time, anyway.

That's my entry, then

Our crush on poetry continues unabated here at Common Good Books, and to prove it the proprietor is putting his money where his mouth is. Garrison Keillor is offering five thousand dollars in prize money to the seven winners of “‘Poems of Gratitude: The Fourth Annual Common Good Books Poetry Contest.”
  Enter "Poems of Gratitude: The Fourth Annual Common Good Books Poetry Contest."

I gave my love a cold,

She gave me a bag of snot.

 Now we both say to the other

"Hey, thanks a bloody lot".

No point entering poets, I think I've already got this competition in the bag.

I'm too sexy for this poem

I'm too sexy for this poem

I take a sexy selfie for

My sexy selfie shelf ,

But that selfie doesn't match with

My inner sexy self. 

Should I take a second selfie

With more sexy sexy sex? 

Should I sex my inner self up

With more special sex effects? 

Should I make my sexy selfie

Take my sexy sexy pants off

While challenging my inner self

To a sexy sexy dance off? 

It's hard to be so sexy

It's hard to be so glam - 

Cos I'm just so super sexy

I'm more sexy than I am.