Making The Facts Say What I Want Them To Say

A Brief* History of International Funk Day

International Funk Day is a somewhat inaccurately titled week beginning every year on October 18, that is, if the participants remember to celebrate it. It is similar to regional festivals like the 'Mojo and Turnip Appreciation Afternoon of Wapping-on-Sea', in north England and the 'South-east-south Wyoming District Evening for Mutual Bohemian Admiration'.

The modern International Funk Day began way back in the mists of time, or at some point before then. Traditionally, participants in this 'Day of Funk' would roam the streets, looking for hippies to stir, some niks to beat, or some other type of suffix, prefix, or 'just any kind of fix, man'. (This quote is attributed to famous funk-man Joey 'Jo Jo' Joe of Joestown, Joesville, but he claims he was elsewhere at the time).

In the early years of International Funk Day, the proponents of funksterdom quickly distinguished themselves from the crowd of niks and hippies by a number of distinct, if not distinguished, terms. In the words of one famous funkster, 'The squares think it's hip to be a square! But I say it's hip to square a hip.' Nobody knew what this meant, which was rather comforting, as they were all stoned anyway.

A brief list of Funk Terminology follows:

Funkle = Funkster who may or may not be related to you, depending on whether you feel like admitting to it or not.

Funkamentalist = A person who preaches funk ('He preaches the gospel of funk - he does not feature the gospel of punk!' - anon.)

Funkoordinated = Being able to live the jive.

Funkwit = Non funky person. 'Person who acts like he has it, but he REALLY don't got it.'- anon

Funk Hair = Hairstyle. Kind of like punk hair, but kind of not.

Funklestein = A funkster who finks on another funkster for the greater good of funksterdom.

Funk Flunk = See Funkwit, above.

*Brief=Possibly longer than it deserves.