On the wearing of ties on the weekend

There are some people who object to the wearing of ties on the weekend, saying they should only be worn for the most solemn and serious occasions. Personally I think that is exactly why ties should be worn on the weekend. Nothing is more serious than doing nothing, and the occasion should certainly be celebrated by the wearing of a piece of appropriately-chosen coloured neck cloth. 

I frequently wear ties on the weekend - don't you? - and each time the ceremonial knotting of the garment fills me with pleasure, just as a well-executed origami model, or a highly strategic manouevre in chess. It is true that one knots one's shoe as well, but shoes are necessary, and therefore best ignored. Ties, being pointless but pretty, can occupy hours. If you confine yourself to 9 folds, there are at least 85 ways in which your tie can be knotted, which should fill up your time nicely, although you might want to set your other weekend plans aside. 

But aside from the act of tying - if we can leave such an interesting act behind, for it is worth noting that ties are still known by the adjective describing this act, though just what this means for the meaning of 'tie' is anyone's guess - what are ties for if not to be shown? Just occasionally I like to put on my best bow tie and go and go and buy a series of exceedingly mundane things at the shops. A neck-tie in a half-Windsor knot gives just the right sense of decorum for those times when I go to the pub, drink a little too much, and read another gory poem. Add a dressing gown to the mix and you've got just about the perfect weekend costume, methinks. 

Of course, if things go on this way much longer, I may start wearing a tie to bed. Which of course sounds like a fine idea; I may start doing that right now. Like I said at the start of this post: nothing is more serious than doing nothing, and what could be a better example of that than that nothing you do every night in bed? A fit occasion to be celebrated, I would think. You can't eat cake in your sleep, after all - believe me, I've tried. You may as well celebrate it by wearing a tie.