kidattypewriter

Thursday, May 02, 2013

Memoirs of a quicher

Quiche thrower given good behaviour bond
A New South Wales woman who assaulted a police officer with a quiche has been been given a 12-month good behaviour bond in the Broken Hill Local Court.
Many will still be shocked by this news about the brutal assault of a police officer with a quiche. You may be still thinking, 'how can this have happened'? And 'is there anything we can do?'

Perhaps we will never be able to wipe out quiche-related violence in Australia, but it's a good time to start. We need to institute a thorough quiche buy-back scheme, so that it becomes harder than ever for the wrong quiches to fall into the hands of the right people, or the right quiches to fall into the hands of the wrong people, or the wrong quiches to fall into the right hands of the wrong people at the wrong time or.... oh, you know what I mean.

 In the meantime, we need to ask the hard questions. What can have caused this quiche-related attack? What were the motivations of the attackers? Will they strike again? The answer, I think may be found in one simple word: climate change.

And yes, there will always be the naysayers, those who object to any sort of government intervention whatsoever to stop groups of disturbed young men bearing quiches from attacking again. 'But there have never been any attacks with quiche before!' Well, it just goes to underline the horrifying escalation in quiche-related violence in our neoliberal society, doesn't it? 'But the quiche attacker was a woman!' It's terrible, isn't it, what some young men will resort to these days! 'This is eggsasperating!'

And that, you see, is my point eggsactly.

5 comments:

Caz said...

While of some concern, especially to know that women are taking up the crazed quiche-attack trend, I'm more worried about the dim sim attacks (it's so messy when soy sauce is involved).

When will police start confiscating food, to prevent these hungry acts of violence?

TimT said...

They'd better do so soon or they'll end up with egg all over their face.

SO MANY BAD EGG JOKES! I'm ova them already....

Caz said...

Any action to stem the yolk of this thread would be eggcellent!

Steve said...

You've been spending too much time reading Catallaxy, haven't you...

TimT said...

Not sure why you'd say that on this post! I didn't see this story linked on their website... and as for the bad puns, they're pretty much pun-free now Homer Paxton doesn't visit there anymore....

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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