In which Tim examines the news

So I was just reading the news the other day, and apparently it's now illegal to abort babies masturbating in the womb in Texas because.... no, wait. I think I got that wrong.

Anyway, I was just reading the news a while back and it seems that it's illegal to abort gay babies masturbating in the womb unless they're in Texas, in which case it's compuls.... no hang on. Still haven't got it right.

So opened the internet the other day and started reading the news. It seems it's now illegal for babies to masturbate in the womb of pregnant gay fathers unless they're Texans because.... er, that doesn't sound right either.

So here's how it is, spot of news the other day. Gay Texans are now not allowed to masturbate in the womb, unless they've been aborted first, which is.... hang on, aborted masturbators are now not allowed in gay Texas because... no, it's been made illegal to teach masturbation to aborted Texans unless they're gay, in which case .... um.... that is....

Oh, bloody hell! Gay! Abortion! Masturbation! Womb! There's your freaking news for you.