Sunday, August 11, 2013

On the other hand

There's nothing like stopping at the shop counter at the natural food store with a hat in your hand and a bag in your other hand while retrieving the card you used to pay with your other hand and placing the items in your bag with your other hand to make you realise just how useful a third hand would be. Amongst other things, it would excuse the awkward necessity of you having to put your hat on your head while retrieving your card before taking your hat off your head again and putting the items you have just bought in the bag in your other hand before slinging that bag over your back and placing your hat on your head, by which time the queue behind you will have doubled and the awkward smile on the face of you and the shop assistant will have been replaced by awkward glowers of cantankerousness on faces of same.

Then again, there's nothing like stopping to chat on the phone to your mother while you are also involved in an extremely complicated cooking project in which it is extremely necessary to do things exactly in the right way and precisely in the correct order for everything to turn out properly to make you realise that it would not only be efficacious to have a third hand, but it would also be highly desirable to have a second head as well, with which other head you would be able to concentrate not only on talking to your mother but also on the meal you are cooking and make sure everything turns out all right by deftly using the third hand you have discovered whilst at the shops to do whatever stirring, pouring, dividing, separating, and so on, the third hand is required to do.

On the other hand, there's nothing like having a third hand and a second hand to make you look like the undesirable mutation of a freak genetic modification experiment gone wrong. Which might actually be quite fun to look like at the natural food store.

I'm sure you've all felt like this from time to time.

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