You Young Whippersnappers

Young people! What to do with them?

Of course, being a venerable old fogey myself, I am firmly of the opinion that they should be outlawed, but until Mr. Menzies starts answering my letters, we'll just have to let that be.

But you know, I was taking my constitutional stroll this morning, when I came across a group of three young scalliwags discoursing excitedly about some book or another. My ears are not what they used to be, but it seems they were talking about 'Gary Cotter', whoever that was.
Now, even though I am old, that is not to say that I am not 'with it' or 'up with the homies'. After doing some research on my Inter Net, I have discovered that books about this 'Gary Cotter' fellow seem to be quite the thing.

As far as my keen eyes could discern, the books about this Gary Cotter fellow go something like this:

Gary Cotter is a student at the Bogfarts school of Hitchcraft and Lizardry. *
He makes plenty of friends there, like Ron Wheezy, and Hamboney Granger.
But he also makes enemies. The most important of these is Vord Oldy Mort, or Bored Mouldy Port, or some such person. I don't know, I can't remember his name properly.

Hmmph. If this is what passes for entertainment nowadays, then I don't know what the world is coming to. Reading! In my day, we'd actually do educational things to pass the time, like look at paintings of bulls on cave walls.
Which reminds me. Isn't it time for my daily whipping? Marsha! Marsha!

*Of course, if he grew up with me, he would have been sent to a respectable school of grammar and sadomasochism, but that's not the point.