 | Grrrrr! I hate you! You are an exceedingly unattractive little man, and I have serious philosophical differences with your neo-liberal policies! |
Good. Now that we've got that out of the way, let's get on to a much more important subject. Croissants. I love croissants - don't you? I think there's nothing that tastes better than a crisp warm croissant with jam and butter along with your cup of morning coffee. "Of all sad words that have been said, there is nothing sadder than - I almost had some croissants" a great man once said. And he was right.
And yet, the other day, I walk into a cafe, ask for a short black and a croissant with jam and cream, and what do they say?
"Oh, we only have the ones with ham and cheese left."
What the...?
A cafe that doesn't serve croissants is bad enough. A cafe that serves croissants with ham and cheese? That's awful, atrocious, vile, disgusting; an offence against every unwritten culinary law in the known universe. Croissants are not a savoury food. To suggest otherwise is to descend into howling insanity, blind idiocy, mere nonsense. And yet, in cafes all across the country, people are daring to serve these delicacies - first developed as a celebration of the victory of Western forces over the Turkish Muslims at the gates of Vienna (or so I hear) - smeared in cheap unprocessed cheese.
Truly, we are living in a new dark age.
No comments:
Post a Comment