But It Certainly Was an Experience

I'm staying at the moment in a cheap backpacker hostel. It's the sort of place that you tell other people about later and say, 'But it certainly was an experience.' I'd much rather be living in a ten-story penthouse with a wife, three kids off at college, with a personal liquor cabinet and a private study and library for me to read, write, relax, and drink.
Here's a website I found which describes the place. I've attached the description below, along with my translation, to tell you what it actually means...

Strategically well positioned...

You will wake up at three every morning to the sound of the first tram going past!

the Carlton Hotel is an age-old backpacker pub...

So many cigarettes have been smoken in the kitchen that even the tiles stink of nicotine!

with the ace up its sleeve surely being its 24 hour licence.

You might as well not bother going to sleep. Not that you'd want to hang around in the pub, either - the beers cost $6.00 a pint.

Bearing this in mind, it is not surprising to find all sorts propped up here in the wee hours of the morning: most Melbournites have probably never even been here.

That's because most people who live here don't really want to tell anyone about it.

The Carlton is often the sort of place you'd stop at because of its functionality; given its hours and late night bottle shop it's hard to beat if you're desperate for a quick no-fuss pot.

True: I lived with a pot smoker for about a week. The owners don't mind. I wouldn't be surprised if they sold the stuff.

With backpacker accommodation on-site, you are guaranteed to meet all sorts of weird and wonderful travellers from around Australia and the globe.

Including: several junkies, potheads, one schizophrenic, one gambling addict, one out-of-work guy who is training to be a pastor, drunks, and one neo-nazi...

Bugger the experience, I want my ten-story penthouse NOW.