Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Fruit Free State

Damn government, it just can't get anything right.

Plans to implement random roadblocks in a bid to intercept motorists carrying fruit into the Sunraysia area have been delayed.

The roadblocks will not be in place for the current school holidays, despite the Mildura Country Music Festival attracting thousands of visitors moving into the area from fruit fly hot-spots.

So please, interstaters - when you're travelling interstate and need some refreshment, stick to chocolate, beer, or hallucinogenics. Keep the fruit in your own damn state.

On second thoughts, stay away from the hallucinogenics. You'll start dreaming about bugs, which are just as bad as fruit flys. Stick to the safer alternatives, like snorting crack.


Misha said...

I think no matter how much you stress the importance of not carrying things like fruit over the border, people think it doesn't apply to them. People are inherently stupid, seriously.

You get the same thing at airports. I've got countless stories about people bringing weird stuff in from overseas. It's fun having friends who work in Quarantine at the airport.

TimT said...

Oooh, stories of ilicit products being smuggled in over the borders! Do tell!

One of these days, I plan to get myself a real live shrunken head. How much would I have to bribe the border guards to get that into Australia?

Misha said...

The main story that sticks out for me was this person from South America who was wearing a massive trenchcoat. This wasn't unusual because this happened sometime in late winter/early spring. Anyway while he was on the plane, just before landing in Sydney, some noises started coming out from the trenchcoat. Passengers starting complaining about the noise and the smell...

Turns out that he had a whole bunch of rare birds eggs resting within the lining of the coat, and because of the warmth they started hatching. I think there were like 30 eggs or so.

Heh, what a tool.

Good luck with the shrunken head endeavours though!

coffee and cigarettes said...

how about that story earlier this year when that woman tried to smuggle fish into Australia in her skirt

Anonymous said...

"Is that a wet herring in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?"


TimT said...

Not to mention:

...Turns out that he had a whole bunch of rare birds eggs resting within the lining of the coat, and because of the warmth they started hatching ...

The guy managed to get 30 hot chicky babes under his coat? Well damn, some guys have all the fun.

Okay, okay, I'm an idiot.

coffee and cigarettes said...

Laughing. So. Hard. Stomach. Huuuuuuuuuurts.

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TimT said...

Brilliant. Where do you get all these stories, Rachel?

Email: timhtrain - at -

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