If Shakespeare

Maybe it's because they had a poetry festival here in Melbourne just recently, or maybe I'm just mad, but I was recently struck with several poetic fits. Here's what I came up with:

If Shakespeare Dropped Acid

If Shakespeare dropped acid with the Rolling Stones
Marianne Faithful would dance with Ophelia's bones
At the bottom of the sea;
Juliet would fly into the Marmalade sky
And Hamlet would step up to the microphone and cry,
"Is this Mick Jagger I see before me?"
If Shakespeare dropped acid with the Rolling Stones.

If Moses drunk soma with William Blake
They'd bake the ten commandments out of chocolate cake
And ask Shiva around for tea;
The LORD would speak out of a flaming fish
And ask for a sample of that tasty dish,
Before changing into a tree,
If Moses drunk soma with William Blake.

If Homer and Sappho got blotto on plonk
And stonkered, they bonked till the sun rose with a thunk
Then the sky would fall into the sea;
And Mighty Zeus would retire and Hera expire
And whole turning world would explode into fire
Before turning into a pea,
If Homer and Sappho got blotto on plonk.

It's meaningless, it's obscure, and it scans badly: the perfect modern poem! But that's not to say that I haven't been working on, er, more traditional efforts. Here's another one I've been writing ...

My Love: a poem by Timothy Huw Train

My Love is like a metaphor
That's sweetly typed in June;
My Love is like a simile
Or like a bag of goon;

My Love is like an elephant
That's wearing a beret
My Love is like a flamingo
That's dancing in the bay;

As fair art thou, my chocolate love
This cask is fairer still
And I will love thee still, my love,
Oh shit. I'm drunk again.

That's all I've been able to come up with so far. Do you like it?